It's important to note that individuals vary, and not every person with narcissistic traits will follow the same pattern. However, some common patterns or cycles may be observed in relationships with narcissists. Here's a general overview:
Idealization (Love Bombing): In the beginning, a narcissist often idealizes their partner, showering them with affection, compliments, and attention. This phase is known as "love bombing." The narcissist may seem perfect and attentive, creating a strong emotional connection.
Devaluation: Over time, the narcissist's behavior can shift. They may become critical, dismissive, or emotionally distant. This devaluation phase often involves undermining the partner's self-esteem, making them feel unworthy or inadequate.
Discard (or Disengagement): In this phase, the narcissist may suddenly end the relationship or withdraw emotionally. This can be confusing and painful for the partner, who may have been conditioned to seek the narcissist's approval.
Hoovering: After a discard, the narcissist may attempt to re-engage with the partner. This can involve grand gestures, apologies, or promises to change. The goal is to regain control and maintain the relationship.
Repeat: The cycle often repeats, with the narcissist oscillating between idealization, devaluation, discard, and hoovering. This pattern can be emotionally exhausting and detrimental to the well-being of the partner.
It's crucial to recognize that not all individuals with narcissistic traits will exhibit this exact cycle, and the intensity and duration of each phase can vary. Additionally, some narcissists may not go through all the phases, and the cycle may not always follow a linear progression. It's important for individuals in relationships with narcissists to prioritize their own well-being and seek support if needed. If you're dealing with a challenging relationship, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for guidance and assistance.
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