It's important to note that narcissism is a complex personality trait or disorder, and people with narcissistic tendencies can exhibit a range of behaviors in relationships. While I can provide some general insights, it's essential to remember that each individual and situation is unique, and motivations can vary widely. That said, here are some potential reasons why an ex-narcissist might discard and then re-engage in a relationship:
Need for Attention and Validation: Narcissists often crave attention and admiration. They may discard a partner to seek attention or validation from others but then return when they feel the need for it again.
Control and Manipulation: Narcissists often use manipulation and control tactics to keep their partners hooked. Discarding and re-engaging can be a way to maintain power and control over the relationship.
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists tend to idealize their partners during the initial stages of a relationship but can later devalue them. The cycle of discarding and re-engaging may reflect this pattern.
Fear of Abandonment: Despite their seemingly self-assured exterior, narcissists often have deep-seated insecurities. They may fear abandonment and re-engage to avoid feeling rejected or abandoned.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists may not fully grasp the emotional impact of their actions on others. They might discard a partner impulsively and re-engage when it suits their needs without considering the emotional toll on the other person.
External Factors: Sometimes external factors like loneliness, financial difficulties, or the inability to find a new source of narcissistic supply can lead a narcissist to re-engage with an ex-partner.
Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissistic relationships often follow a cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard. The narcissist may re-engage when they return to the idealization phase.
Attempt to Hoover: "Hoovering" is a term used to describe the narcissist's attempt to suck a former partner back into the relationship, often through manipulative tactics or false promises.
Genuine Regret or Change: In rare cases, a narcissist may genuinely regret their past behavior and seek to change. However, significant personality changes are challenging, and it's crucial to approach such claims with caution and skepticism.
It's essential for individuals who have been in relationships with narcissists to prioritize their own well-being and consider seeking support from therapists or support groups specializing in narcissistic abuse. Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic relationships and setting boundaries are critical steps in dealing with such situations.
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